


The Kiss

by WonderWords



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25668283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WonderWords/pseuds/WonderWords
Summary: Ever noted Catherine's track record with men? Ever thought why? Here's one theory.
Relationships: Nick Stokes/Catherine Willows
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I just borrow them.
> 
> Author’s Note: I write without restrictions – I don’t follow timelines or recount the correct “version” of events. I use the show – as well as what happens in the show – for inspiration. In saying that, die hard CSI fans – if any read – will remember what I’m writing about from the show; however the accuracy won’t be documented play by play and word by word. I prefer to write from Catherine’s POV – if it varies, it’ll be stated.

I manoeuvred around the giant pot plants that scattered across the stone garden path leading up to the front door. Balancing precariously on my strap slip on black stilettos while clutching my evening bag, I rang the doorbell and felt my heart begin to drum. If this backfired I don’t think I could show face in the lab ever again, let alone work with him.  
I saw his silhouette approaching through the door pane of snowed glass and took a deep breathe before tossing my slightly teased shoulder length hair and taking up stance leaning against the doorframe. I shivered slightly as I moved the trench coat aside and posed with a hand on my hip, trying to bravely don an almost Cheshire cat-like corner smile. My heart was drumming so loud now I was almost sure he would hear it, but when he opened the door his reaction was a mixture of surprise, followed by intense lust as I felt his eyes roam over the body-hugging black lace teddy with a plunging neckline and built in bra to lift my breasts, held by thread-thin straps and complimented with thigh high black garters. I shifted my weight and crossed my legs at the ankle, emphasizing the stilettos. I watched him through heavy smoky eyed makeup, mouth slightly open, tip of my tongue peeking through the corner of my neutral coloured, glossed lips. A light breeze picked up and gently ruffled my hair, releasing my sweet cinnamon perfume.  
The air almost crackled with electricity when he suddenly snapped out of his reverie, grabbed my upper arm and yanked me towards him, my lips his target. I don’t know what I expected his reaction to be, to be honest, but I knew I wouldn’t resist. This, however, just caught me off guard as my eyes widened in surprise upon feeling his lips meet mine in our first searing kiss, where I gasped slightly – giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue in against mine. I felt my eyes flutter shut as we deepened the kiss, where I moaned and willingly melted into him while he pushed off the trench coat, which I stepped out of as it puddled to the floor, leaving me in the black lace teddy and stilettos. He was radiating heat now and his muscular chest wasn’t the only thing that was hard as I felt his arousal already begin to grow. 

He moved to my jawline and began to slowly kiss his way up to my trigger – the sensitive spot behind my ear. My stomach began to summer-salt and I felt light headed as my neck lolled to the side while I grasped tufts of his thick hair – briefly thinking how better he looked with a little length - which gave him an all access path as he alternated between kissing and sucking. If he branded me at this point, I didn’t really care. I did care about an audience though.

“Nick,” I rasped. Either he didn’t hear me or he ignored me, but I shivered against him a little harder this time as the cool evening air began to set in. 

“Nick,” I choked, a little louder this time, and squirmed slightly. “Nicky, door.” 

Almost dazed, he lifted his head, nodded and then kicked the door closed before pushing me against it. Eyes closed, he rested his forehead against mine, both catching our breath, and I clasped my hands at the base of his neck, dipped a notch down and kissed him gently this time – almost lovingly. 

“Make me forget Nicky,” I whispered, our foreheads still together, but my breath now tickling his ear - it was his turn to shiver. “Make it all better, even for a little while.” I grit my teeth, determined not to break down. “Just. . .” I paused, swallowing the wave of emotions. “Just fuck me into next week. . . or further.” 

Still on stilettos I was his height, so I gently nibbled on his earlobe and felt him tighten the grip he had on my waist. I leaned back and we locked eyes for a couple of seconds and there was something that surprised me – underneath the obvious hunger was something so subtle that on any other given day I’d probably have missed it; it was warmth. 

“Nicky,” I breathed softly and I felt my eyes flutter, trying to fight the tears at bay.

“I know,” he murmured and caressed my hip with his thumb. “I know Cath.” 

He moved in to kiss me and I met him halfway, cupping his face as I intensified the kiss, opening myself up to him, desperately wanting to join his tongue with mine and pull him right into me. He entangled his fingers into my hair in order to guide me through the kiss. Our tongues danced for a couple moments before I broke our connection, starved for air. He smiled shyly and I returned a small smile, now aware of how swollen my lips were and I let out a ragged breath. I brushed his cheek with my thumb, noting his 5’clock shadow. Things were a little rough at the lab lately. 

This time Nick beat me to it and crashed his lips to mine, crushing me against the door at the same time. He pried his shirt from my grip and yanked it off before he linked our fingers, pinning my arms next to my head on either side and then devoured me, peppering a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses starting from my shoulder and across my chest, unclipping the teddy’s straps, exposing my breasts even more. I moaned loudly this time and took the gap to undo his belt while he was busy with the teddy. When he felt me fiddling he straightened up, but I had already unbuckled it and his slacks fell to the floor. With bare feet he kicked out of them and swooped down on me to pick me up. I wrapped my legs around his hips for balance and my arms around his neck for leverage, but cried out when I felt his bulge hit my centre, causing my fingers to dig into his shoulders when I felt a rush of wet heat. Nick was incredibly strong, but when I cried out I felt him buckle briefly before trying to switch his standpoint. There was no way this was going to work here. I used his hitch to lean forward before he could kiss me or remove the teddy completely.

“Hey,” I purred into the shell of his ear and used the door to lean even closer. “Why don’t we move this to the couch? We’d both be more comfortable.”

I tugged at his earlobe with my teeth and he let out a strangled, “Catherine!” before almost dropping me. Immediately I reached out to stop myself from falling and missed Nick’s shoulder by a split second, causing me to hit my head against the heavy wooden door.

“Ow! Shit!” 

Nick looked horrified. “Shit Cath I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to drop you! I just. . .” and he looked at me sheepishly.

I gingerly let go and tried to stand on my own, but – still in stilettos – I wobbled and felt a strong hand grab by waist. It was my turn to smile sheepishly.

“Let’s not ruin this. . .” I switched tactics and gave a sultry smile, walking my fingers up his chest before kissing him fiercely. I regarded his stunned expression.

“C-c-c-couch?” He stammered and I winked at him.

Before I knew what was happening, he had scooped me up in a newly-wed style and carried me down the 3 steps into the lounge, where he carefully set me on the couch. I looked up at him – taking note he was still hard and wondering if I should finish that first, but I knew I needed the release more than he did. Nick already looked unsure of his next move, so I moved for him. I stood up, licked my lips sensually and moved in front of him, where I slipped my hand behind his head and pulled him into a steamy, heart-stopping kiss – focusing on the whole reason for this: Get rid of every pent up emotion I had no control over, except here because here I could control. I first felt a tingling sensation followed by a gush of warmth, leaving me to groan into the kiss. I snaked my hand down between us and could fee Nick was straining against his briefs, a tiny spot of liquid where he was already leaking pre-cum. I squeezed gently and Nick growled.

I broke the kiss and my breath skipped when I looked into his eyes and saw what I had seen before: warmth. “I’d say let’s move on with the show,” I said huskily, in an attempt to shake myself out of it.

Nick gulped and nodded, so smiling against his lips I pushed him onto the couch and stood over him. I bit my bottom lip and gave him the once over. “These are a problem,” I breathed and pointed at his briefs before bending down and sliding them off.

I caught myself and swallowed my gasp – he was much bigger than I thought, thick around the base and stiff in length, his balls drawn tight. I almost came then and there, but to cover up I straightened up and slowly unzipped the teddy on the side, all the while running my tongue over my top lip.

“Cath, please. . .” 

“No need to beg,” I laughed seductively, discarding the teddy. We were both completely naked, barring the stilettos.

“I think we should keep these – what do you say?” I bit back a grin as Nick gaped like a goldfish.

I delicately pumped him once with my hand and he cried out. I grinned wickedly and climbed over him, getting ready to saddle him. I leaned forward and felt my breasts swing perfectly into his open hands – which surprised me. He tested their weight and squeezed, causing me to whimper and grip his shoulders. He suckled one and then the other and I encouraged him by raking my fingers through his hair. I pushed him back, so I could settle on the base of his shaft, over his balls, coating him with my juices – leaving him to struggle a grunt. I reflected for a second or two while he held my hips and I moved to position myself above his member. This will help the pain. I need to feel anything other than that. I need to face anything else, but that. 

I took a shaky breath and dipped his tip into my folds – I bit back a cry while his nails bit into me. We were both so ready that this wasn’t going to last long. I slowly sunk down onto him, but I underestimated his size and involuntary felt my face screw up against the pain.

“Hey.” I felt him gently squeeze my waist. “Cath, are you okay? We can stop if you want, we don’t have to do this.”

My face relaxed now, but my eyes still closed, I bit my lip before replying. “No,” I said quietly. “No, I need this. It’s just been a while and you’re. . . well, above average.” I opened my eyes and smiled shyly. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

He lay still, as though moving he thought might hurt me. I looked at him and there it was yet again: warmth. I took a heavy breath and gasped loudly when I moved and felt him swell inside me – he was just so big. I ground with my hips a little and he closed his eyes and grit his teeth, so I rotated and he cried out soundlessly. I moved, but the pain had now turned to pleasure as I had stretched to accommodate him. I moved again, indicating to him I was fine. When I moved again this time he opened his eyes and I nodded and smiled. Pretty soon he matched my rhythm, but it was becoming uncomfortable. He reached out and gently took hold of my bouncing breasts. I whimpered loudly and arched my back, causing him to grunt, “Cath. This. Isn’t. Working.”

Wordlessly I stopped moving, stretched forward so my breasts were flat against his chest and gripped his shoulders. I teased kisses all the way up his neck to his ear. “Is this better?” He swallowed hard and I giggled softly before turning serious. “Now make it go away and fuck me.”

He began thrusting and I pushed down for a heightened sensation, surging him deeper into me with each thrust.

“Oh God Nick,” I moaned into his ear. “Yes, yes, yes!”

He gripped my thighs with his huge hands and began to move faster. “Cath, Jesus.”

The faster he moved caused me to shift slightly and hit my clit with every thrust. “Ooooohhhh Gooood Niiiick.” I could feel my inner walls starting to quiver.

“Let go Nicky,” I whimpered.

“Ladies first,” he said through clenched teeth.

“Al. . .ready. . . there!” I gasped, as I felt myself grip him through an orgasm of rippling shockwaves of pleasure so intense I almost passed out.

I blindly reached around and gently grazed his balls, which tightened and I felt his release so powerful I saw stars and collapsed onto his chest, both of us panting and sweaty.


	2. Chapter 2

“Thank you,” I murmured softly into his chest.

“Oh Cath.” He ran his hands up my back and kissed my head, causing me to shiver against him.

I sat up and tried to cover my breasts, which was ridiculous not only because we had just slept together, but also because he was still inside me, flaccid. I cleared my throat. “Uh, I uh. . .” I quickly looked around for the trench coat, mentally slapping myself for not bringing a change of clothes, although – fighting in my defense – not knowing if it would actually get this far.

Nick saw my obvious discomfort, sat up and gently motioned me to move to the next couch seat. “Hey, let me get you a change of clothes. Or er. . . actual clothes.” He looked at the teddy and then at the trench coat.

“Thanks,” I muttered and looked at the ground while he gathered his clothes and headed to his bedroom. I massaged the back of my neck not realizing I would feel this humiliated afterwards. This was supposed to take away the pain, not intensify it. It normally worked for a while, but maybe didn’t this time because it was. . . Nick.

“Cath?” 

I felt someone lightly tap my shoulder and I jumped. “Huh?” He was holding out some clothes. “Oh. . . oh thanks.” I took them without looking at him. He had given me drawstring sweatpants and a hoodie. I turned away from him and got dressed. His clothes were obviously way too big, but there was this feeling of overwhelming comfort. I pulled the sleeves down and sat on the sofa, still avoiding eye contact.

“Look, uh. . . alcohol probably isn’t a good idea right now.”

And he was probably right about that, but I could sure do with a bottle of. . . something right now, the stronger, the better. I shrugged.

“What about tea? Honey?”

I looked up, shocked he’d even have something like that – being a bachelor, I should have better luck with a bottle! He gave me a shy smile and I softened before nodding once. 

“Comin’ up!”

I watched his back disappear into the kitchen and looked around, feeling more awkward than ever. A throw rug on the other couch caught my eye, so I pulled and dragged it towards me, where I bundled down into the corner of the couch. I felt like putting up the hood and disappearing altogether.

“Here, there’s more if you’d like.” He set a steaming mug on the coffee table in front of me.

“Thanks.” I muttered again quietly, staring at the mug.

“Cath. . .” He started.

“Nick, don’t. . .” I cut him off. I didn’t even know what to say, although I knew he knew anyway.

“When did you find out?” He asked quietly.

“Yesterday,” I replied softly. “Hodges let slip. I doubt anybody was actually ever going to tell me, especially Grissom. We used to be so close Nick, tell each other everything.”

“You know Grissom Cath. He never tells anybody anything. We were all shocked to hear he had married Sara – none of us even knew they were dating.”

I knew he was trying to console me, but I shook my head. “I knew.” I took a ragged deep breath. “Sara. . . was when everything began to change. It’s like suddenly I didn’t exist anymore. The worst part is that it was gradual until I disappeared totally. I kept trying to deny it was happening, that it was just a case or stress or Ecklie or. . . something. I. . . I honestly thought we’d end up together again, if I just gave him time. Guess he sampled the goods and just didn’t like them.” I angrily wiped away a stray tear.

“Wait. . . what do you mean again? You never told us you and Grissom dated!”

“It was. . .” I fidgeted with my sleeves. “It was a long time ago.” I shrugged. 

“Before all of us?” He moved closer to me until our knees touched and I felt my breath catch.

I nodded. “He saved me from. . . strip – “

“Dancing.” Nick promptly corrected me and I smiled a little.

“Yeah - he uh, he helped me with so much and through that we just. . . connected.” I stretched for the mug of tea, but couldn’t reach so Nick passed it to me.

“Thanks.” I smiled into the mug.

“You always do that though Cath.”

I frowned and cupped the mug, feeling the warmth. “Do what?”

“Give yourself to men who don’t deserve you.”

I froze and gave him a look.

“I don’t mean me, I mean. . .” he trailed off, unsure as to whether he wanted to continue or not – afraid of upsetting me, I suppose.

“What makes you say that?” I rested the mug on my knee and looked down at how close he was.

“Well. . . you care about them more than they do about you and this with Grissom just proves that you aren’t always aware of it. You always put yourself on the line for them, but the question is whose doing the same for you?”

“Um. . . I don’t. . .” I stuttered, not knowing what to say or what to feel.

“Take Eddie – look what he did to you and yet you still cleared his name. And Keppler? Guy almost got you fired and you still took his side. What about Novak? You kept quiet until you were forced to out him!”

My jaw dropped indignantly. I just didn’t think justice is always so clear.

“And Warrick?” He continued. “Look Cath, he’s my best friend but what he did to you just isn’t right no matter which way you look at it. He’s with you, you go out of town for a week, come back and he’s married? And Vartann? Pissed because you won’t move in with him so he dumps you? C’mon Cath.” He frowned darkly.

I felt my heart constrict again as I felt the tears fall. He was right. Nick gently pried the mug away, set it on the table and took my hand in his, squeezing it.

“Hey,” he murmured. “They aren’t worth your tears Cath. They aren’t worth destroying yourself over either. I mean, thank God this time it’s me. Who was it last time? What was it last time?”

I shook my head slightly and sniffed, using my free hand to wipe away tears. I shuddered to think of what I looked like now with make-up smudged – probably a corpse on Doc Robbins table. I knew he was right, but it was so hard to admit.

“Cath. . .” he caressed the top of my hand with his thumb. “I also know that coke used to help you cope.”

I felt my stomach drop as my eyes widened. How did he know? Oh God, I felt sick. 

“Eddie let slip.” He reached behind him without letting go of my hand and felt for a box of Kleenex, placing it in front of me.

I nodded, but was afraid to speak so I grabbed a fistful of Kleenex and tried to begin mopping up. I probably looked dreadful – night of the living dead scenario. A couple of tissues later I found my voice, but barely audible as it was thick with tears. “Could I uh, wash up somewhere?” 

“Sure! I’m sorry I didn’t think of it earlier. I was just worried about you. Upstairs, 2nd door on your right.”

I nodded and wandered towards the bathroom where I washed my face and used some baby oil and cotton pads to take off any excess makeup. I found a brush and ran it through my hair, straightening out the bits that were teased. I found a pack of new toothbrushes and used one before I rinsed with mouthwash. Finally, after I felt somewhat clean and presentable, I made my way to the lounge and gasped softly when I saw Nick had lit the fire and had killed the lights. A natural warm glow emanated the room and Nick looked up from his phone and smiled. My eyes flickered down to my evening bag that was now on the coffee table.

“Sorry, I didn’t open it.” He quickly reassured me. “I just saw it and thought you might need it.”

I nodded and smiled weakly while I walked down to the couch. “The fire’s nice,” I whispered while I wrapped the throw around myself and sat cross legged.

“Yeah, I use it often.”

He sat right next to me so I was leaning against him, but I didn’t protest. “Nick?” I asked timidly. He didn’t answer, so I continued, “Could. . . could you maybe hold me? If… if not I totally get it. I just th – “   
He lifted his arm, which let me slip in against him. I buried into him and breathed in his scent while he tucked his arm around my waist, his hand coming to rest on my thigh. We lay quietly like that for a while, listening to the crackling of the glowing embers.

“You’re right Nick,” I muffled into his chest. 

He dropped a kiss onto the top of my head for a few seconds before he answered. “With what?”

Everything,” I said quietly and shifted my head so I was looking up at him. “All of it. I just. . . sometimes justice isn’t always so black and white, you know? I always try to give the benefit of the doubt, but I guess to the wrong people.” I felt myself tearing up again.

“Cath, you have an incredibly good heart and not many people know that because you’re always so take-no-shit-tough, you know?”

I nodded and blinked a couple times, sniffing while he brushed away some tears with his thumb.

I dropped my head onto his chest and listened to his heartbeat, sobbing quietly as he ran his fingers up and down my back, trying to comfort me. “I don’t know if I can come back to the lab Nicky,” I whispered. “I don’t know if I can face them every day.”

He was quiet for a second, listening to me sniffle, before he replied. “You can’t quit Cath – too many people need you, rely on you.”

“Like who?” I scoffed bitterly. “I don’t know. Think I might transfer or something.”

“Well, people we haven’t met yet – for starters. You’re the best CSI I know. Who knows how many people could get justice – proper justice – because of you?” 

I smiled in the dim light, letting that thought sink in for a moment. It was one of the reasons why I became a CSI – everybody was so focused on catching the bad guy and not placing justice where it was deserved.

“But what about. . .” I trailed off and felt my smile drop while I tensed against him.

“Remember, they aren’t worth it. Anybody who’s going to treat you any less than you deserve doesn’t deserve you.” He hugged me into him and I smiled, feeling my chest swell.

“And. . . how would I know that?” I placed a hand on his chest, feeling his muscles ripple.

“Easy. You won’t feel like you used to anymore.” He pressed a kiss to the top of my forehead. I turned to look up at him again and was met with the softest and most loving kiss I’ve probably ever had because I knew it was genuine.

“Hmmmm. . . I think I know now.” I smiled and sighed happily, now realizing he’d been here all along.

“I think I know too.”

End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post Chapter: Kinda wrote this in a one day whim, so it’s not refined – but hey *shrugs* I was watching a rerun marathon and just went with it.


End file.
